Wednesday, September 18, 2013


I saw the doctor Friday.

And by doctor, I mean I switched doctors. I went back to Dr M. He was my physician for over a decade I guess before he left practicing and began administrating an acute care office attached to his clinic.

Guess he hasn't liked that not seeing patients aspect because he left administrating and went back to practicing.

I wasn't happy with a couple of med switches the replacement physician (Dr LJM) had made and liked even less the attitude when I tried to get them to switch back.

So I took it as a sign... Dr M was also my Mother's doctor and he was the one who was with us there at the end. I checked with my insurance regarding the switch of my primary care physician and they were cool. So I called his office and made the switch.

We had a great time catching up. He made the one med change I wanted... I should have known that it wouldn't end there.

He wants to switch all the others. What I like to refer to as my sanity cocktail.

He said what I am on is some of the original meds and there have been advances and whatnot... apparently since mine are not working real well on the prevention of anxiety. Been bothered with near constant panic and anxiety since the five day Labor Day weekend.

So he has pulled out the big guns. The same guns I have fought off for close to two decades. The same guns I would willingly put off for another two decades.  But I can't willingly go back to the man and then not listen to what he says. Can I?

He wants to get professional help in determining a new pharm regime and I have run out of time and excuses.

I don't want to. Absolutely do not want to at all. But I will. Mainly because I have no choice at this point. I fear he will push and push and frankly I know I can't handle that and I know I can't be off the meds-- at least, not right now.

So I will follow his orders.... regardless of what I would rather do.... and see what happens.


  1. So glad to see this post. I have known this for quite some time but you needed to learn it for yourself. I pray that this change will bring you a level of peace in your daily journey. I also pray that your anxiety levels will be minimized. This IS a good thing.

    1. haven't learned anything-- nothing to learn... i know what i need to know and that's all i need to know. my meds work fine. doing this isn't going to change anything...

  2. Oh, Rebecca! Your new old doctor is only trying to help you. please listen to his advice.

    1. I know KB and because I know he truly wants what's best I will do this. I will go and I will let them re evaluate. I think he's forgotten he's tried to change the med protocol before and it didn't work. But I shall keep an open mind. But if it helps him feel like he's doing all he can, then that is good enough.