Brave

As most of the people who know me know, I prefer Alternative Music.

Until just recently, I had a Thursday routine with a friend that included going to dinner and a movie. The last couple of weeks or so of that routine part of the ads before the movie included a song by Sara Bareilles. The first time I saw the video- without listening to the words- I thought ok what a strange video.

Then I listened to the words. To say that they touched me is an understatement. I have already downloaded the song on iTunes and frankly, I'd love to make it my ring tone. It has become my mantra because for too long I have kept my mouth shut and not said what I wanted or needed to say because I was afraid.

Afraid of starting a fight. Afraid of causing a disagreement. Afraid of making someone mad.

I am done with that. Everything I have and need is within me and God. If me telling you how I really feel is going to run you off, then Goodbye and Good Luck. Because if I have to be who YOU want me to be and not who I want to be then YOU didn't really want ME in the first place.

I am enough. God is enough.

I don't need someone who makes me cower in fear, tremble with worry or live riddled with anxiety.

I need me. The ME that God wants me to be. The ME He needs me to be.

For three years, I have held me tongue to keep the peace. Except that I ended up feeling the opposite of peace.

No more.

From now on I am Brave.

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Innocence, your history of silence

Won’t do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

Calm and Joy: Weekend Goals

In an effort to live a more simple, deliberate life, I have decided that there are moods and ideals that my haven needs to provide.

Because I am aware that there are many in this world who have much less, it is my honor to take care of that haven to make it everything I need it to be for me.

In looking at these tasks as joys to complete to ensure that my haven remains so rather than chores that must be done... I find a better peace of mind and far more pleasure. It makes me feel better and gives me a much better frame of mind.

For this weekend (my days off work-- Friday, Saturday and Sunday) I sat down and thought what needed to be done the most-- we have had so much rain that the grass is out of control. I want a place in the back yard where I can sit at my table and meditate and write. Or read. So in a few minutes I had a small list of things that -- weather permitting-- I would like to accomplish in an effort to create more calm and find more joy.

1. Mow the yard-- front and back-- with the bag on to get as many of the leaves as I can.
2. Wash the shutters (first step in repainting them)
3. Deliver the items to be donated and get them out of the house (my haven)
4. Take the recyclables to the street for the City to pick them up.
5. Meditate in the new, more peaceful back yard.

So, since it is supposed to rain Saturday (again!) I better mow and wash the shutters Friday. That way it is out of the way and the newly mowed yard can absorb the new rain water.

The recyclables will go out Friday morning along with the garbage and the donated items can be delivered Saturday in the rain.

Depending on where I move the table to and how hard it is raining... it has a big umbrella and, as long as the wind isn't blowing at hurricane level.. I can sit outside in the rain and meditate and read. The dog won't like that but that's ok, too!

Calm and Joy are my words for 2013 and quite possibly forever as I learn how to incorporate those two ideals into my life and my haven.